How does perfectionism manifest in different aspects of life?
Ever spent a tremendous amount of time on a task that was supposedly going to take 15 minutes but ended up being 40 minutes?
This is one out the many habits of a perfectionist and let's admit, we've all fallen short into this category. I know some of us out there depend on our ability to realize "it doesn't need to be perfect".
However, in the moment of over excitement and working out of shear love into whatever we're working on, can indeed turn the mind into a Mr or Mrs perfectionist overtime.
What is a perfectionist?
A perfectionist is someone who sets extensive high standards for themselves and others. Often strives for flawlessness in various aspects of life which forms difficulty accepting mistakes, imperfections and even feedback.
Does that mean it's the end of the world for you and enjoying what you do as a occupation or your relationship with others?
Hold onto this question as we identify the various aspects of life, where perfectionism usually takes place and ways to overcome.
1. Work & School: I know you saw this one coming, perfectionist often set high standards for themselves in the fields of work and school more than any other out there. Trying to make the details of a project stunning not matter how long it takes? Setting excessively high standards creates procrastination which affects your motive to work and get things done.
2. Health and Body Image: Social media, we all have it and view thousands of faces, body types, races and many more per day online. Many people today view a wide variety of imagery and want to achieve the ideal body image of someone else. This leads to unhealthy behaviors such as extreme dieting or excessive exercising. Ultimately being dissatisfied with their own body.
3. Personal Project and hobbies: The most common habit in perfectionism starts here. After a series of pursing projects, task and hobbies in the perfectionist mindset, the fear of not being able to excel immediately due to tremendous amount of work ultimately creates procrastination and the fear of not getting things done right.
4. Relationships: Have you ever met someone who always wants things done their way? or are you that type of person? While this may not apply to everyone, many of us have crossed paths with an individual who sets high or unrealistic standards for their partner or friends which further leads to a strain in the relationship.
What are the common signs and symptoms of perfectionism you need to look out for?
➤ Setting Unrealistic Standards: A person who sets high standards for themselves are usually more often to discard their accomplishments and fixate on what they could've done better.
Here's an example; A 10 year old child is being scolded for receiving 90% on his/her exam by their parents. (see the problem?)
➤ Procrastination: A person's fear of not being able to met their own high standards, delays tasks from being completed, creating an intensive workload for themselves as due dates come closer.
Here's an Example; A painter is given a job to complete 2 portraits. Upon feeling afraid of not completing them perfectly, days go by and the portraits causes unnecessary work load at the last moment.
➤ Overthinking: Rather than accepting the completion of an event, a perfectionist will target things that could've been done.
Here's an Example; A social gathering is being hosted by family member Jenna. She views the decorations and selection of foods as a failure and is unable to appreciate the overall success of the gathering.
➤ Difficultly accepting feedback: Any form of advice is taken personally in a nonessential way even if that critique is honest and true.
Here's an Example; Nutritionist gives insight on how to gain weight healthy without using protein powders. A few individuals struggle to accept and takes it personal as they're unable to consider any other alternatives.
➤ Fear of failure: Not being able to achieve a certain task perfectly on the first try develops a level of avoidance towards attempting new things.
Here's an Example; Jake wants to pursue graphic design however he is hesitant of trying, due to the fear of failure and worries he won't excel.
➤. Micro-Management: Delegating task to others can be a perfectionist worst nightmare because they do not trust others to do things correctly.
Here's an Example; At work, Cerra struggles to trust her colleagues to complete a spreadsheet. She reviews every aspect of the project to ensure it meet her standards of perfection.
➤ Rigid Way Of Thinking: When things don't go according to plan they struggle to adapt as their minds are fixated on their outcome.
Here's an Example; A group of students are assigned to a project. kurby the leader, becomes frustrated due to the project not unfolding as he envisioned.
➤ Physical Symptoms: Due to overly exhausting the mind, perfectionist manifest physical harm upon themselves through headaches, stress, anxiety, muscle tensions and more.
Here's an Example; A basket player feels so overwhelmed by missing a 3 pointer despite winning the match. He/she develops chronic fatigue and exhaustion from stress and lack of sleep.
➤ Low Self-Esteem: Despite setting high standards for themselves, a perfectionist always feels low self-worth as they struggle with the opinion " This isn't good enough".
Here's an Example; Lenny is an exceptional cook, despite her success and approval from others, she doubts her skills and feels her meals are good enough.
What are the potential benefits of overcoming perfectionism?
1. Reduce Stress and Anxiety
2. Increased Productivity
3. Improves Mental Health
4. Forms Healthy Relationships
5. Enhances Creativity
6. Develops higher Resilience
What are some practical ways to overcoming perfectionism?
1. Set Realistic Goals: Define achievable, realistic goals and standards for yourself and acknowledge that perfection is unattainable. How can I set realistic goals and expectations for myself?
THE BEST WAY: Before executing a goal break it down into actionable steps and add a due date. This helps reduce the urge of procrastination and challenges you to get a task done.
✦ Ask your self some questions:
- Does this goal align with who i want to become?
- Do i have time to work on this everyday or not?
- What difficulties may i run into and how i can counter?
✦ Write it down
✦. Break it into actionable steps
✦ Develop routines and habits
✦. Hold your self accountable
✦. Reward yourself
2. Challenge your Thinking: Encourage a mindset that allows for imperfections and growth. Not everything has to be perfect.
3. Practice Self-Compassion: Treat yourself with the some kindness and understanding you'd offer a friend when you make a mistake or fall short of a goal.
4. Embrace Mistakes: See mistakes as opportunities for learning and growth rather than as failures.
5. Delegate and Seek Help: Don't be afraid to delegate tasks or seek assistance when needed. Understand that others can perform tasks competently.
6. Prioritize Self-Care: Ensure you have time for self-care, relaxation and downtime to reduce stress and perfectionist tendencies.
7. Use Time Management: Implement time management techniques to prevent overthinking, procrastination and most importantly over working.
8. Manage Social Media Mindfully: Be aware of how you use social media. Remember that what's presented online is often a highlight reel, not a reflection of everyday reality. Don't compare your life to the polished images and narratives on social platforms.
Can mindfulness and acceptance-based practices assist in overcoming perfectionism?
1. Mindful breathing or somatic exercises: Take a few moments out of your day to practice breath work. Notice the sensation of inhale and the release of your exhale. Whenever your mind is challenging you, shift your attention away from stress and onto breathing, releasing all tensions with every breath.
View more detailed steps on somatic breathing exercises.
2. Meditation: As you get into a relaxed state, your mind systematically focuses on each part of your body, scanning for any sensations. This helps you become aware of bodily tensions and releases it promoting a mindfulness habit.
3. Observations: When Walking around, interacting with different people, notice the things around you colors, texture, sounds. This practice helps you stay grounded to the present moment and appreciate the beauty of everyday life including the imperfections.
4. Mindful Eating: We often eat to fill the emptiness in our stomachs. Rather than doing so, take some time to eat your meal slowly savoring the flavours in each bite.
6. Affirmations: Occasionally, our minds can be bombarded with negative self-talk especially when feeling down. You can repeat phrases that promote positivity such as "I am in control of thoughts" , " I release all negativity and open to positive energy". View more Affirmations.
How does perfectionism differ from striving for excellence or having high standards?
Perfectionism is often driven by the fear of failure, self-criticism, unrealistic expectations and neglects the process of learning.
On the other hand striving for excellence is much different. Excellence involves taking on challenges with an open mind, seeking continuous improvement without granting any room for low self- esteem talks.
If you’ve made it this far and have difficulty finding out whether you’re a perfectionist there’s two ways to view it as "types" of perfectionist the internal and the external.
Internal, are individuals who may lack time management skills, procrastinates and self critiques.
External, are individuals who set high expectations for others, micromanagement, rigid thinking.
In the end, improving on your self will ultimately eliminate any external perfectionist habits. There it begins with you the individual.
Thanks For Reading!
Commentaires